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Sunday, 12 October 2008

CHARITY STARTS AT MOAN

Well, there I was settling down with a nice cup of Rosie and my copy of Heat when my eyes drift down to to the letters page. It seems one of those fucking annoying Charity Muggers has written in to the letters page to say which 'celebrities' are nice and which aren't so nice. She said that I wasn't so nice, and then added 'but maybe I was having a bad day'. No I wasn't having a bad day, I was having a good day, until I saw you. Is it just me or are they all so fucking annoying? 'Hello Cheeky chops, can I talk to you about mental health?' What?!! Can i talk to YOU about getting a decent job you freak?' Harrassing people on the streets with their fake sincerity, asking for money, layering on the guilt if you say no, or if you politely say that you're in a rush, you get a roll of the eyes or a curt smile. This wouldn't normally affect me but when they sort of see themselves as a dogooder when they are in fact raking in at least £7 or more an hour, it jars a little to say the least. O Mother thersa will you be donating your earnings to your beloved charity at the end of the day? - No i didn't think so. Look love, when I do charity nights, I do them for free and the Charity gets 100% , yes you heard, 100% no commision, no annoying white people with dreads trying to look 'happy', no intimidation, no rolling of the eyes, no guilt. Proper Charity work. So next time you try to approach me, saying 'thats a nice jumper, spare a minute for leprosy?' You wont get my credit card details you'll get a kick in the flaps!! Talentless twats
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    It's me! Alan. It really is. I'm here, on twitter , facebook and at offthekerb.co.uk

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